


being sick sucks.

by Nataco



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 13:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20547086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nataco/pseuds/Nataco
Summary: Rue is sick and doesn't want to tell her mome because she knows she is going to overreact.





	being sick sucks.

Rue got a phone call from her mom she just let her phone buzz in her hand. Her other hand rubbing against the cold metal of the bleachers on the football field. This was call 19 she thought but she couldn't really be sure. She was keeping count of course but she was waiting for an even number to answer. If it wasn't an even number her brain would short circuit and then she'd die. She knew that wouldn't happen of course, knew it was whatever her brain was piecing together to make sense of the world. She just couldn't make herself answer the phone on an unever numeral.

"Fuck," she exhaled adjusting her weight and banging her head on the ridged lined bench. She just wanted to roll over and look at the field. Instead of the sky, instead of up, wishing she could float up there on a cushion made of downers and vodka. But she couldn't. Her stomach barely could handle anything right now and it definitely could not handle pounding any amount of alcohol. She wrapped her arms around herself and tucked into a ball.

God this fucking sucked.

She looked at the field think how only days ago people were in these seats or the ones across. Chanting and yelling at teenage boys running a piece of leather around a field for over an hour. Now it was just cold and empty and the lights were still on. It was an automatic thing to keep away tresspassers and anyone else who might want to be there this late. Her stomach churned and flipped and she groaned clenching it tight. She really wished she brought tums or gum or even water when she slipped out her bedroom window.

Closing her eyes she tried to listen to the rustle of the wind but the vibrations in her gut and her pocket were getting in the way. She knew she must look awful. She knew she smelled awful it was obvious when Lexi told her she needed a bath like a stray dog. She had showered once but standing in the tub under the shower head unassisted made her legs want to collapse. It made her snort a laugh and then it made her eyes burn. Last time she looked in the mirror her eyes looked so bloodshot and wired, no amount of visine or concealer helped. The bags under her eyes were heavy, she was so fucking tired. Her stomach churned and she lurched hoping if anything did come out it wouldn't be on her or her hoodie.

Nothing, just air. She laid back with her cheek on the cold bleacher and trembled. Closing her eyes again her brain was a bit quieter. Her phone was still vibrating in her pocket but not the long extended vibrations of a phone call. Her mom most likely called Lexi's mom, called Jules's dad, maybe even Kat's mom. Gia was definitely awake and likely getting hounded. It wasn't her fault though. The cold bench felt so good. Her face didn't feel so hot. Gia was probably defending her like always. Probably getting told how she was too trustworthy of her. At least Gia believed her when she told her mom she wasn't using again the other day. She even smiled at her and passed her a pack of Emergen-c. This was why Rue didn't tell her mom she was sick, because the first thing it would be was are you withdrawling. Rehab talk rehab talk blah blah blah. Did she deserve it, yes, but did she like it hell no.

Rue could hear a familiar clicking of bike spokes but barely moved. She tried swallow a cough and ended up sounding like she needed an oxygen tank. There was the light rustle of leaves around her and then something fell in the grass. She knew she really should move her hair from her face to see who the axe murderer was but eh. She was dying anyway. The light plopping of shoes on metal got closer along with low annoyed grumbling. A higher voice joined and she internally wanted to dissapear.

"I'm telling mom you have the flu," Gia said. Rue moved her hair and looked in front of her. There was Gia in a thrown on outfit and Jules who looked like she fresh rolled out of bed. She grimaced and closed her eyes, they were not ruining this. Honestly she could have lied and said she was just trying to embrace fall instead of shoving her head in a pumpkin. But she just stayed quiet and groaned.

"Rue get the fuck up," Jules shook her shoulder. Rue shook her hand off and then was shaken again. She whispered leave me alone and felt someone sitting on her hip. Not full weight but sitting.

"I am tired, it's cold, and Leslie is having a fucking conniption that you are out here snorting god knows what up your nose," Gia bounced on her thigh while yelling before getting off.

Rue swatted the air where she sat. "Stop yelling my head hurts enough," Rue said pointedly.

Gia was a good sister, the best really. Rue really wanted to tell her she in no way deserved her. Deserved someone so willing to rectify her to anyone except when she was rightfully upset. Gia was ignored and put on the back burner far too often because of her. At first it was dad, then it was mom's job, and for years its been her addiction. Just eatting away at whatever spotlight Gia should have. She deserves a better life than this, Rue though to herself.

"Why are you here," Rue mumbled through her dry cracked lips. Her tongue felt like she'd been licking a mound of clay all day. She heard Jules laugh sarcastically. That sounded way worse than she intended or maybe she did just a tiny bit. Things were off between them recently. They'd started making out like they never kissed anyone in their lives and Jules stayed over more.

Recently though Rue swore Jules was   
making a habit of getting playfully annoyed. They'd be kissing or fooling around and Jules would pull away. Jules would say something about having to go pee or pull away. She would ask Rue what she wanted and she didn't have a fucking clue, so Jules would get up and push her away. Maybe she was overthinking or maybe not and Jules was out with Anna or someone else.

"I meant you didn't have to for me." Rue heard Gia whistle like a sinking bomb to signal her wrong phrasing. Her heart clenched of course, but she didn't open her eyes because she just wanted to sleep.

"Rue you are my bestfriend and my girlfriend. It is 3:45 in the morning can we not do this, right now." Jules usually sounded open and free and caring but right now she sounded tired and sad.

Even though she was sick Rue really wanted to hug her and say she was sorry. She just really hated being sick and it made her attitude hop out almost as bad as her depression did. It was really late for a tuesday night/ Wednesday morning. Gia had a science presentation today. The one she kept trying to get everyone, by that she meant her and her mom, to listen to since last week. She just could not win with her timing she swore. Almost as bad as the time Gia walked into her room so they could walk to some stupid award ceremony together and she was sprawled on her bed eyes glazed and glued to the stack of clothes under her window. Gia just left the room slamming the door and 15 minutes later Rue had to sober herself up just enough to run to the school just in time to see Gia get an award. Okay maybe this was significantly better.

"Where's Lexi," she questioned slowly moving to sit up with Gia's help. Jules sat on the bleacher step in front of her and Gia making a face.

"Um...she has a precalc exam first period. She is how we found you though," Jules smiled taking her cold clammy fingers in her own. Rue went to pull her fingers away but Jules pulled them back.

Great, Rue thought to herself. Lexi was being a dweeb, she meant it in the nicest way possible. Lexi had been avoiding her and Jules recently. She still invited her out to things but, she was acting weird all jumpy and looking away. Jules had let it slip that she thought Rue had a secret admirer. which Rue was fully aware of, but come the fuck on. Did she have to loose her oldest friend because she found Jules. It was nothing to be weird about to her, Lexi only saw them making out like one time.

In fact several people had seen them kissing on the lawn of the school while play fighting over something. Lexi just happened to show up unannounced mad about some little fuckboy in her life and barged in her door. Mind you after Gia told her several times that Jules was over. It wasn't her fault Lexi walked in to her pretty much getting dryhumped, her hands under Jules sweater, with a tongue down her throat. Jules even apologized, this was frustrating. She'd just text her later and wish Lexi luck on that exam.

"I need help," Rue sighed looking at both Gia and Jules.

They both helped her to Jules bike slowly while she hobbled. Rue waited until she could hop on the bike after Jules. Rue felt her whole body shivering until she pressed her chin on Jules shoulder and latched her arms around her.

"I'm gonna let you guys talk," Gia pedalled ahead of them far enough Jules could whisper to Rue. Trying to keep her awake so she didn't collapse, but also to talk to her.

"Rue....I'm sorry i snapped," Rue hearf Jules whisper as her knees pushed them forward. Rue nuzzled into the back of Jules sweater, she wasn't upset with her at all. She just really wanted to sleep and squeezed tighter.

"Are you mad at me? Is that why you keep pulling away." Rue sighed into Jules shoulder. She was actually worried that Jules was upset with her. That she was pulling away from her slowly like she did before. Jules stopped the bike and dropped her legs. Rue felt Jules hold the hands on her stomach before she started to pedal to catch Gia who was no longer in their site.

"No Rue," Rue felt Jules body swaying in front of her. " I just don't want to push us too fast." Rue could laugh but she was pretty sure she might pass out or fall off the bike if she tried. The wind was cool against her cheeks as the wound around the bend of the curb. They had lip tattoos of eachothers name, they were pretty much past fast at this point.

She understood though even Gia had bombarded her to slow down with Jules. Now that Jules was back and she was clean again. Gia's bike sidded as she slowed back to the next of them. Rue heard them talking while she nuzzled close. Slow made sense but that didn't mean Jules had to stop touching her or holding her or hugging her for just a little longer. They could be slower than they'd been without completely stopping. Rue heard Jules yawning as they pulled up to her driveway.

Gia slowed next to them and dropped her bike on the side if the house. Rue attempted to swing off of the back of Jules bike. Jules walked her bike back to the end of the driveway, Rue saw her rubbing her temples. She was tired.

"You wanna stay over tonight," Rue shrugged holding her arms. Gia was in the garage putting her bike up, Rue could hear her little sister dropping something metal on the ground. Jules scratched her scalp and looked at the sky and then at Rue.

"You're sick Rue and you look like you're dying."

Rue could tell she didn't want to stay but to be fair with the amount of time they spent together Jules was going to get sick anyway. She pouted and nodded before turning around to walk into the garage. She really hoped Jules would have said yes just to diffuse the bomb that was her hyper attentive mom. Also, who didn't want someone they loved to wake up to in the morning.

"Hey don't make that face," Rue felt arms around her from behind. Rue could feel herself melting under Jules touch. It really shouldn't be that easy to get her to not be upset but it was. Jules voice was the hyper, playful voice but Rue could tell she really had to go back to sleep and soon. Rue turned and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Jules rubbed her back whispering i love yous and telling her she'd come by tomorrow afternoon. There were kisses on her forehead and she heard Gia fake hurl behind her. Yea she was still a great sister. Rue nodded into Jules shoulder and pulled back. She waited outside to watch Jules pedal off in the direction she needed to be. Gia dragged her inside of the house to the dimly lit kitchen where their mother sat.

Mom, i think I've got a stomach virus.

* * *


End file.
